ERIKA'S STORY: THE CONCLUSION

MAKE SURE YOU READ PART ONE AND PART TWO BEFORE YOU READ THE END OF ERIKA’S STORY!

After they rushed the baby away to be attended to, the doctors are now putting me back together again, kinda like Humpty Dumpty. The stitch-up took longer than getting the baby out.

I am now rolled out to the recovery room and I am now coming down from the pain meds and I was woozy and cold but also hot and tired. oh so very tired. I wanted to sleep.

When a bed was ready for me, I was added to the gyno ward where the patients weren’t necessarily new mothers but had some sort of gynaecological procedure done. The next two days I felt like I was hit by a bus and my oh my i just wanted to poop. I desperately wanted my squatty potty just so I could have a proper bowel movement. No luck :( 

Oh and the emotional roller coaster thanks to the postpartum hormones. Not only did I have to deal with the “normal” surge and drop of those hormones but I also had to deal with the guilt that there was a little itty bitty tiny baby in the NICU that I could not keep inside me. Every time I heard a code for the NICU, I hoped it wasn’t for that little guy.

While the actual physical healing took the appropriate length of time, it was the healing my my mind that took time. I held so much guilt and blame on myself that I needed therapy and time to heal my soul.

Oh, I lied about the physical healing…..turns out I had rectocele prolapse and needed surgery to repair. I was told no more vaginal births so I effectively tied up my birthing shoes and no more surrogacy for me!

Two years later, I am healed-ish and have seen that baby who gave me quite the journey a couple of times, and I am so happy that he is doing well.